we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
