Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
