You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
