You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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