Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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