god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
