We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
