She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize