I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
