She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
