It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
