Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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