So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
