just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
