My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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