Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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