can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
