her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize