Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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