Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
17 year olds will be the death of me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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