we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize