This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
