I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
