I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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