my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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