Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
