Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
