Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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