Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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