And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
