That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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