There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
