Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
