Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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