Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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