What a fucking waste of an outfit
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
