I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
