It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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