i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We are all done wearing pants today
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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