like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
