I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
