Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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