Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize