Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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