I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he puts the penis in happiness.
worst night to have a conscience
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
