you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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