God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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