Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize