Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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