Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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