Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
