but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
