lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
