dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
