is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
