Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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