just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
