can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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