Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
