He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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