I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
