How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
