Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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