My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
