just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
