Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
