I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
