Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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