There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
