Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
