she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
