the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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